If you’re like most women, knowing if a guy will make a good husband is kinda tough. There are a lot of guys that will come as a wolf in husbands clothing. So, in this post I want to describe to you some things to look for, that are good signs that he’s going to be a good husband.
1. Wants to be a Good Husband
This is the single most important one of them all. If he doesn’t want to be a good husband, then he never will. Also, if you don’t know what his definition of being a good husband is, then who knows what you’re signing up for. It is vitally important to know how he defines what type of husband he plans on being to you.
Knowing what type of husband he wants to be, helps you to keep him on the course and helps you see when he’s going off course. Both parties should have an idea of the type of spouse they are marrying. Of course, things change in a relationship, but that’s why transparent communication is an important aspect of a healthy marriage.
If he doesn’t know what type of husband he wants to be, help him out by asking questions. Things like what type of husband do you see yourself as? What are your views on communication? Do you know how to communicate effectively and honestly? Questions like these will help him create a better picture of what you will need from him as his wife.
Now, of course, if you just ask him “what type of husband do you see yourself as?” He’s going to say, “Imma be a good husband!” But that’s really not that effective. The thing that you want to understand is how he views being a husband and what that means to him. Not just that he sees himself as a married man, but the obligations that come with being a husband.
2. Envisions You Being His Wife
Without him envisioning you being his wife, it will be hard to convince him to be involved in the marriage. Many guys get into the marriage and use it as kind of a farm pen to hold their family in. But in order for a man to be active in a marriage, he has to see you as a partner and friend. Someone who is on his team, and you are trying to win the game.
Most men (and women) have no clue what it takes to build and maintain a happy relationship. They just get involved based on how they feel and when they don’t feel the same, they’re ready to bounce. What I’ve learned is how we feel about someone is based on how we view relationships in general and how we view them specifically. This happens over time, through disappointments and dissatisfaction.
For me, when I first saw my wife, I saw her as my wife, the woman that would be with me for the rest of my life. As time goes on and as our relationship goes through changes, as long as my view of her doesn’t change (and vice versa), we will continue to grow closer to one another. This also allows us to be reassured that we’ve chosen the right partner and truly are meant to be together.
What does he envision about you? How does he view you now? How does he view you after an argument or problems? One of the best ways to know for a fact is to observe how he talks about you to his friends. If he doesn’t talk highly of you to his friends, there’s a good chance he doesn’t see you more than the woman he’s with presently.
To get a clearer picture, you have to ask clearer questions of how he views you being his wife.
But in order for a man to be active in a marriage, he has to see you as a partner and friend. Someone who is on his team, and you are trying to win the game.
3. Envisions You Being Together Forever
This ties into #1 and #2. What does the future look like to him? Does he see you two together? What does forever look like to him? When the storms of life come, and they will absolutely come, what I’ve noticed is that the vision of the future of the desired end must be strong enough to endure.
It’s like traveling over the ocean, if you’re in a boat and the storm is bad enough, some people just jump ship. But it’s important to know that no matter how bad the storm is, that other person wants everyone on the boat to arrive safely to the desired destination. If not, he will feel that he failed. I know that’s how I feel in my marriage. I want the best for my family.
The desire for their safety and the vision of the destination is what keeps me going. As a man that’s what it should be like when starting a family. You want them to be safe and all to arrive at the destination set out. Without a vision of what that looks like, it will be hard not to jump ship looking for another boat.
Make sure that he has a view of what a future for the two of you looks like. The same goes for you as a woman. “Where there is no vision, the people get out of hand” (Proverbs 29:18 TJB). In short, people will remove all sound judgment when there isn’t any order. A vision is the order of things in the future.
If you have a man that is exhibiting these qualities, congratulations! I believe that he will try with all of his might to make the relationship work. Of course, it takes two to make a relationship work, I’m sure that you want to make it the best relationship possible or else you wouldn’t be reading this post.
If you have any friends who are less fortunate and believes that “there aren’t any good men out there” do them a favor and tell them to purchase The Husband Material Guide (available here). Share the love!! Also, if you’ve enjoyed this post share it with your friends and join our Newsletter (The LoveLetter).
Peace & Blessings
Coach R. Anthony
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